you seem too good too good to be true you're holding me stronger, stronger than i'm used to

mmmm.

So I don't know what caused this sudden change of events but I don't care.

Spent the weekend at the boyfriends place, yes his new place. It was awesome.

life stories.

I've finally made an executive decision about where my life is going. I am going to take a post graduate course at centennial college in human resources management. It may not be what I've always dreamed of doing, but it's something. My life doesn't need to be about my career, in fact I don't know if I ever had a dream job. Plus I'm friendly enough, patient enough and would be happy enough doing that.

things with Steve are OK. but as you can tell by my last...probably mashed post, I'm a little confused, a little disorientated. Maybe he needs to try harder to show me he cares. I always get like this. He's just not like guys I usually date, he's doing the grown up thing and I'm not and it's weird. I've been feeling very weird about my life. I'm 21 but I work at a bookstore and I go to school. Technically I'm an adult but really I'm not. Nothing I do is adult-ish. I just started doing my own laundry.

I don't know what it's going to be like going back to school. Incredibly strange is a good way to describe it. I've been out of the school mood for quite some time. I have no idea what is going to go down hopefully it won't kill me.

I may end up working for the chapters company forever! I'm thinking about applying for an internship in the summer with the indigo home office. If my manager gives me a good recommendation I may have a good chance....would be nice to have a grown up job for a little while anyway.

of all the girls throwing rocks at your window i'll be the one standing there even when it's cold.

Nothing lasts.

it's true.

Why is life so not what you expected. Why can't I be the girl who demands you kiss her feet and then runs away to join the circus. Why am I the one who waits? I am always the one who waits always. Why is it when I look in your eyes, you seem to say all the things that never come out of your mouth.

I feel like someone pressed the pause button on my life and it stuck. I can't unpress it. I am a child and yet, not a child. You have stocks and your own place. I have my room without the lock and the cell phone buzzing when are you coming home my dear.

everything is so jumbled. One minute I think I am wanted, and the next I have no idea. Why is it that at 16 I was more sure of myself than I am at 21. Who knows. So many whys, too many whys for one girl that's for sure.

does this make any sense to you?