My lips hurt.

I think it's safe to say, that i've done more kissing in the last two days than i've done in six months. I'm not really sure how or why this happened. It was actually pretty random..didn't think anything would really come of it. OK so this is a terrible thing to admit...but i'm going to admit it anyway. I went on this dating site...plenty of fish yea, I know..SKETCH town. But I started talking to a guy who seemed pretty normal we talked for....a couple days and then I suggested we meet at le skratch because I was going out for my birthday with a bunch of my close friends. And it's always PACKED on thursdays so if I wanted to lose him, I could lose him. I actually didn't think he would show up he seemed really reluctant to come. But as I was stumbling around at 11 30 already pretty buzzed this guy walks up to me, he had nice eyes. I could have sworn they were green.The first thing he did was hug me...if I was sober maybe it would have been awkward but I was drunk so it was nice. ahah then he said I looked amazing which of course made me blush. He brought a couple of his friends. I felt really bad right away because they looked so awkward...like they weren't having a good time. So I talked to them a bit. I was surprised when the short one....named sarg? lol asked me what kind of shot I liked...I said surprise me :P because i'm not that picky about my alcohol when i'm already drunk. Soo the next thing I know i'm standing at the bar with these three guys, Sarg the short one, Jon the tall one with glasses and my guy Steve. Steve is also a good height, perfect for tippie toes kisses. Even though I was a little drunk it was still a little bit awkward..but I was soon to learn that I wouldn't be just a little drunk anymore oh no...as shot after shot came my way courtesy of the random boys I became less and less worried about this meeting with Steve. When we got back to my friends it was clear to everyone how drunk I was. Especially after the unfortunate tiara throwing incident....oops I forgot to mention I was sporting a birthday tiara, yes, I'm that cool. Anyway...as I was standing there..leaning into steve I mentioned that maybe I deserved a birthday kiss. He later told me that was very sly of me. I am so sly when i'm drunk. not. It was around 2 am when my friends asked me if I was going home with Steve..of course I was not going home with Steve i'm not that kind of girl! But I let him drive me home bad idea perhaps? but it ended with him walking me to my door and another lovely kiss. Fast forward to last night....a couple dates later..and a facebook picture taken the night we met. I asked him if he was my boyfriend yet..and he said yea. This is all happening pretty fast....but..there's something about him that I like well a couple things. It doesn't seem like he's had very many nice girlfriends...and I am a very nice girlfriend. He also seems to have a lot of crap happening with his family which I am not 100% sure about but he said that hanging out with me makes him feel less stressed.

AND get this...he said he wants to take things slow.....he's doing an OK..job of that so far lol..
we shall see how long he lasts on THAT front.

So i'm not really sure if I'm being rational about this at all..but at this point I really don't care I'm having a really good time and I'm not going to do something stupid just yet. :P

oh and school? What school :P

Alyx.

you'll be the prince and i'll be the princess.

So it's sunday.
Can't say that i've achieved much this weekend. However, I'm going driving today. Maybe I will finally get my license..I really need it, it's getting pathetic.
I had a date last night. It was a bust. I was so tired and bored and I really didn't want to be. I iniated this date, thought I was taking a chance but it was a bad idea and I can see that now. I think i'll just be on my own for a while.

The other day, someone I admire told me I was very reflective. One would think that someone so reflective would have peace of mind, would know who they were or where they were going or why they were here. Not I. Like that new Brad Pitt movie coming out..."The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," I feel as though I am getting younger with age. If that makes any sense to you. I used to be so sure of myself, I knew what I wanted, who I wanted and what I wanted to do with my life. I feel as though the more I think I know, the more I realize I know so much less. It's so frustrating. Do you ever have moments when you just want to let all of your inner impulses get the best of you? Where you just want to run wild and tear all of your hair out and scream. That's what I want right now. To let go of everything for just two minutes it would be amazing.
I'm not present. I'm not present in everything I do. I am one of those girls that the professors complain about. I come to class with my laptop and my closed ears. My eyes drop and I find myself captured by some spec on the wall for an unmentionable amount of time. And homework? What homework, i'm too busy staring at my screen or playing on facebook for hours upon end. This morning I watched a movie to escape my computer for two hours. I have every intention of coming on here and writing my paper but somehow I end up on facebook or msn.
Today, while I was on facebook I saw a notification from this girl Laura in my acting class about her blog. Well I read it and it made me really nostalgic. Nostalgic for my best friend who is away and nostalgic for my writing for myself. I figure the best way to figure myself out is to write about it. Clearly jumbling it all up in my mind hasn't been helping at all. This will not be a waste of time, on the contrary it will be life-saving...I hope.

Life is short.
Alyx.